i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded
(Source: cowboybeboop, via jesusandbeyonce)
IF YOU’RE EVER SAD
SAY ‘TEEHEE’ IN A REALLY DEEP, MANLY VOICE.
OH MY GOD
I tried that out loud then laughed at myself
(Source: theprinceswilly, via stumblingintoyourlife)
(via buyabagfrompedro)
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
(via papermansplane)
why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”
or ”the crimson horror”
are u guys okay
(via lealioto)
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
(via hi-im-julie)
someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer
thank you
(via lealioto)
- me: whoa it sure is late, time to go to be-
- me: is that a 30,000 word fanfic
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly
thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh
(Source: egberts, via mammisacklin)
Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.
(via lealioto)
