“teenagers skip breakfast because they think it will help them lose weight” ACTUALLY NO THATS BULLSHIT TEENAGERS SKIP BREAKFAST SO THEY CAN MAKE IT TO SCHOOL ON TIME WITHOUT WAKING UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING
the most exciting thing that has happened today is when my best friend tried to say ‘wait’ and ‘hang on’ at the same time and ended up saying ‘wang on’ and I thought about it on the way home and nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard
GUYS I ASKED THE CUTE BOY IN MY CHEM CLASS FOR A PEN AND AT THE END OF THE CLASS I WENT TO GO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, I ENDED UP STABBING HIM IN THE HAND WITH IT AND IT WAS BLEEDING AND IF THAT DOESNT EXPLAIN WHY I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL.
one time i was going to feed my dog a fruit and i picked up an orange but i was 4 am so i just threw the orange at his face and somehow that orange disappeared i swear to god he ate that whole orange with one bite and i dont know how
i was 4 am
tumblr user lolinepeta planned to feed his pet dog so hard, he became a measurement of time.
My science teacher used to teach all of his classes morse code until last year because last year he caught two kids cheating on the test and having a conversation across the room in morse code by blinking their eyelids. So he doesn’t teach morse code anymore and those kids have to wear sunglasses when they take tests
i was playing a game with my little cousin and he was beating me and i was pissed so i was gonna say “are you shitting me” but 3/4ths of the way through i remembered that my cousin is 8 years old so i panicked and said “are you sitting?” and we both stopped and looked at each other and i could see that he was remembering all 8 years of his life trying to figure out why i would say that before whispering “yes?”