So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
I’m crying so hard beacuse i went to go delete my history and
google knows what’s up
it’s funny because i am a 16 year old girl and i was talking about deleting clubpenguin because i didnt want anyone to know i still go on and i just realized that the majority of you reblogged it for a completely different reason
I just remembered this time I was telling a story to a friend and it was clear she wasn’t listening to me so I started making up this huge gruesome story about a cult murder I’d witnessed while she sat there nodding along to my dramatic moral struggle about whether or not I should come forward and then I looked up to see the table next to us looked utterly horrified and long story short that’s why I should remember other people have ears.
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
there’s a dentist’s office above the starbucks i work at and the doctors come down all the time and today one of them walked in after a group of his coworkers and when they saw him he exclaimed “dentalmen!” and i fuckin lost it
The juniors today got letters from first graders because their prom is Friday telling them not to drink and drive and stuff and this one guy in my AP Bio class got one that said “dont do cokine intil your 21”
Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD
my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me